Bite Me!
by PerditaAlottachocolate
Summary: After another akumatization goes wrong Gabriel wakes up in an unknown park and goes straight for his customary monologue. He might regret it really soon. Or: how Ladybug is a pain in the a..


_Author's Note:_ _I thought this would be a good fit for Gabooty Day. Just a little funny drabble, where I make Gabe suffer ^.^_ _Enjoy!_

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 **"Days of Gabriel Agreste", Day 8: "Bite me!"**

' _Miraculous Ladybug!'_

Gabriel heard the cry through the pink fog that filled his mind and he woke up. Swarms of red beetles were flying everywhere he looked, industriously repairing all the damage his latest akuma had caused. By all means he should be in his lair, but he wasn't and he had absolutely no idea why.

He was in the middle of a park he didn't recognize. How in the world did he even get there?

Gabriel picked himself up from the lawn, brushing off the leaves and dirt. He felt that his hair was a mess, probably more similar in shape to duck's nest than the usual duck's bottom. Everything hurt. _Everything_. Even parts he was not aware he had. And he knew exactly who was to blame.

He started in the direction of the far entrance, grumbling to himself. The more the various parts of his body protested, the longer and more vicious the expletives spilled from his lips. He limped to the gate muttering curses about Ladybug.

Once again she defeated him and he didn't even know, _what the hell happened_.

'Ladybug your victory may have been a walk in the park today,' he grouched. 'But I assure you next time your path will be harder to hike.'

This actually made him feel better, so he continued growling the profanities, peppering them generously with "Ladybug"s and shaking his fists occasionally. His villainous monologue was long overdue and he couldn't deliver it in the middle of a random park.

'Ladybug!' he heard a cry behind him. 'Ladybug!' someone was calling.

Gabriel cast a quick look to the rooftops but they were Ladybugless, as was the park in sight. He huffed and stomped his feet. 'Bite me, Ladybug!' he growled in exasperation.

Unexpectedly he heard a stampede of paws, a yelp and suddenly his backside was on fire.

He yowled, trying to turn around and see what was causing this new and extreme pain.

There was a dog attached to his posterior, an average sized reddish mongrel, with grey and black spots all over its back. It sunk its fangs deep into the red fabric of his slacks and _below_.

'Oww!' Gabriel cried. 'Owwww!'

He tried shaking the wretched animal off, but it held his behind firmly in its jaws.

'Can someone…' Gabriel panted as he tried to get a hold on the dog, yet it only sunk its teeth further and growled at his flailing hands, 'Ow! Can anyone…, ow, help me... please?!' He turned and turned, but the beast just wouldn't let go.

'Whose dog is this!' he finally bellowed.

'Oh, I'm _terribly_ sorry, monsieur,' he heard a trembling voice behind him. An old and wiry Chinese man was nearing him. His ridiculous flower shirt was as red as the pants the dog was trying to bite off from Gabriel's bottom.

'Bad Ladybug!' the newcomer admonished the creature. He put a hand on the dog's head and it finally detached itself from the designer's rear.

'I'm terribly sorry, monsieur,' the man put the animal on a leash and turned to Gabriel with an apologetic look. 'Ladybug is usually as meek as a lamb. I don't know what's got into her today.'

'Ladybug?' Gabriel raised a brow, carefully patting his own buttocks. His expert fingers detected four holes. His pants suddenly got extremely draughty.

'Yes, monsieur,' the old man nodded patting the animal over the head. 'After our beloved heroine. She likes to chase butterflies too,' he added with a hint of pride.

Gabriel glared at the dog owner so hard that he stepped back.

'I'm sorry about your pants, monsieur,' the old man said quickly. 'Ladybug loves red, you know.'

The designer grunted and rolled his eyes, not even dignifying the man with an answer. He just turned around to limp back to the gate. He needed a new pair of pants ASAP. And maybe in a color that wouldn't attract the attention of dogs, ladybugs and rampaging bulls.

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 _AN:_ _And there goes my last Gabriel themed prompt for this extended week. I'll be back after a short hiatus. This last week was fun, but also exhausting! For now I am thinking about some valentine themed Adrinette... (and continuing A Christmas Gabriel in Prose). Stay tuned!_

 _A wave to_ _Remasa_ _, who beta read this at an express rate yesterday evening and provided the best Hawkmoth monologue line ever XD Check out her prompt for Gabooty Day too._

 _I invite you to read my other stories, not only those for Gabriel Week and visit me on_ _tumblr_ _, where I post fics and sneak peeks and share mostly miraculous stuff._


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